Las Politicas

So, as I am still loving the Spitzer business, I have learned that the Lt. Guvvie of NY could break some molds if Spitzer resigns.  He would be the first black governor of NY, and get this, he’s also blind.  He even ran the NY Marathon!!!  I have read some less-than-flattering criticism regarding some past “truth-stretching” on his part- ie, saying he passed the bar, was an ADA, and that he was born and raised in Harlem.  Tomato, tomato.  (That doesn’t really work when you type it, does it?)  

  I mean, I tell people I am the Queen of Sheba, provided it gets me a free cocktail.  I’ll be at State Bar tonight… 

 XOXO-

Teri Tutankhamun

Dear Guvvie,

I have been in a slump, as yourself, apparently. 

I have felt sooo bombarded by politicking that I have taken a sabbatical from the whole mess for a while, but I knew, KNEW, there would be a yummy little scandal that would pull me back into the swing of things… so I wanna thank you Gov. Spitzer -and might I say, what a fabulously Freudian name for this little scenario you are in… that’s gonna keep Leno, Conan, & Letterman going for a solid three nights- for getting yourself so stupidly involved in a damn prostitution ring.  I mean, yeah, it sounds all classy with its “Emperor’s Club VIP” name, and I mean, if you are paying $1,500-$5,000 a tryst for it, these broads must have discretion, RIGHT?  So much discretion that all of America knows that you were in Room 871 at the Mayflower orderin’ in hos like room service. 

See, here’s where you screwed up, 9, you shouldn’t have gotten on your soapbox after the ring you took down in 2004… You should have just done the polite pat on the back and kept on truckin, but alas… here we stand.   Keep your head up and proudly wear those black eyes that your wife hopefully gave you as a badge of honor as you fight against the wiretaps as and good politician would do.

Back in Black,

Terita Bonita

Ps- What IS that face he’s making??  Its very reminiscent of Mario’s evil twin Wario from Nintendo.

 pps- This has to be the best freaking line from the New York Times article “The governor’s aides appeared shaken, and one of them began to weep as they waited for him to make his statement at his Manhattan office.”  Someone get me a shot of that.  I hope its a guy.  Client Number 8, perhaps?

Be sure and take the DC Scandal tour!!!

 There is another video here: http://slatev.com/player.html?id=1318913744, but I cannot embed it.
Getting over the tryptophan,

Teri

My once buddy John Edwards and his camp may have bitten off more than he wanted when trying to sling nacho cheese in the face of the hotness that is possible candidate Stephen Colbert.

Edwards’ kiddos, in discussing Colbert’s supposed “sponsoring” by Doritos corn chips (flavor unspecified, although I am a HUGE fan of both Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheese, as is evident in my ever-expanding posterior) claimed that he (Edwards)  “has never taken a dime from taco chip lobbyists, and America deserves a president who isn’t in the pocket of the snack food special interests.”   Oh snap.

But is it really called a “taco chip”, people??  Who are these people and can someone get them a damn Texan in there to explain that they are tortilla chips?

Here is where the good times roll… Apparently, Edwards was given some nacho, nacho checks from the Queen Frito Bandita herself, Joyce Duesman, who is now at PepsiCo, who, in turn makes Doritos.    Jeebus, I hope I got all of that right.

Read for yourself here: http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2007/10/edwards-fudges-chip-facts-to-smear-colbert.php

Going Home to Eat Leftover Taco Soup:

Terita Bonita

Today, Randy Bean, who has previously been linked to Condi Rice as “more than a friend”, clarified thier relationship for all of the inquiring minds.  Those same inquiring minds (read: nosy homophobic Republicans) did some homework and discovered that Bean and Rice (I cannot get enough of that, apologies) own a home together.  Bean dismisses this as a purchase between friends while speaking to Glenn Kressler:

“she had medical bills which left her financially drained and Rice helped her by co-purchasing the house along with a third person, Coit Blacker, a Stanford professor who is openly gay.”

So, in keeping with this line of thought, if Caroline and I were to go in on a real estate deal together, seeing as we are both hot, young, intelligent, UNWED WOMEN, it could be assumed that our realtionship was sexual in nature?  I love assumptions.

So, Condi hangs with the gays?  That makes me see a different side of her, especially in this quote from Kressler:

“After she became secretary of state, she came to a party at Blacker’s house, kicked off her shoes, and began dancing through the night to rock and and roll,” Kessler wrote. “Blacker, who is gay, wanted to show his partner how tight her behind is; he postulated that if he aimed a quarter at her butt, it would bounce off like a rocket. He was right. Rice, who was dancing, didn’t realize what he had done until everyone began laughing hysterically. She was flattered — and proud.”

Why did that just make me laugh my ass off?  I can totally picture someone bouncing a quarter off of the Secretary of State’s posterior.  While she sings, “I Will Survive”.  At JR’s.

 Gettin Back from Outer Space,

Teri

Apparently, a new website was put up called phoneyfred.org, calling Fred Thompson a “Pro-Choice Skirt Chaser” that has reverted to Evangelicalism to further his political career.   As soon as The Washington Post notified the masses of this litle web gem, the site was promptly removed. 

Here is the kicker guys- PhoneyFred has been tied to the Romneybots.  Oh yeah.  Mitt and his clones and drones apparently hate some DA Branch.  According to The Washington Post:

“Nowhere on the site does it indicate who is responsible for it. But a series of inquiries leads directly to the website of Under the Power Lines, the political consulting firm of Warren Tompkins, Romney’s lead consultant in South Carolina.

The website is hosted by a company called bluehost.com, a firm based in Orem, Utah. An inquiry of that website about phoneyfred.org returns the following statement: “Domain phoneyfred.org is still attached to your politicalnetroots.com account as Addon,” the site states. “For security reasons, you must remove it BEFORE you can continue. After detaching phoneyfred.org from politicalnetroots.com, you should experience some brief downtime on phoneyfred.org while its DNS propagates to your new account.”

Oooh snap. 

Screen shot of the site: http://media.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/images/phoneyfred_screenshot.jpg

I am LOVING the swanky font choice and the header “Pimp Fred”. 

 Full article here: http://blog.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2007/09/10/antithompson_site_connects_to.html

 Watching it Rain,  AGAIN,

Teri Ann

 Hillary Clinton’s campaign is currently giving 23, 000 dollars to charity because that amount…along with several other thousand dollars are considered tainted contributions. The contributions came from, Norman Hsu a business man in New York that has contributed handsomely to Democratic presidential campaigns in the past. The controversy surrounding Mr. Hsu is simple…the man has had an outstanding warrant for his arrest. Hsu failed to show up at hearing concerning fraud allegations from 15 years ago. The Clinton camp is scrambling to clear up this matter because the name Clinton and scandal/ fraud are not uncommon in the same sentence  Clinton opponents are saying that this latest news is strangely reminiscent of the 1996 Democratic fundraising scandal of Asian money with President Clinton. The question of the money scandal was brought to light by Bob Woodward.  

I’m sure Hillary had no prior knowledge of Mr. Hsu’s past or any fraud allegations for that matter. I really don’t think that the travails of Hsu will impact her image among voters. It’s not like she’s a homosexual Republican that voted against gay related legislation.  

Caroline

Heeeeyyyyyy!!!

It’s rainin’ men… fabulous gay Republican men, that is!!  The latest Gay Republican scandal (and yes, I am using a capital “G” and a capital “R”.  Its warranted  now.)  has opened that closet door another inch, boys, and my advice is BRING IT!!!!  Stop allowing the pressure of those boring hetero co-workers influence your votes on the issues that are important to YOU!!  You totally know that deep down, you deserve the recognition of your marriages, if not only for the tax break.  You need that extra cash for Pottery Barn procurements and faux finishes on your walls.  

BAND TOGETHER!!!  You all know who you are.  Puh-lease don’t try to fool eachother.  I know that Larry came up to one of you guys at least once and told you just how fabulous that your Hermes tie was, and you brushed it off like an average compliment.  You knew it, fellow Gay Republican.  You knew.  You knew and you could have totally hooked him up with your friend Mark that owns a hot little boutique in Miami, and he wouldn’t have had to resort to the Solicitation Shoe Shuffle in the damn airport bathroom.   

Get it together boys, and don’t force me to out you by sneaking “YMCA” onto the speakers of the Senate.  None of you can resist that pull.   It would bring you fools out, shakin it like Kevin Bacon in “Footloose”… (stop fantasizing about that RIGHT NOW, Foley!!)

Reserving Some Space at JR’s,

Teri Ann

ps- This is in NO WAY meant to offend.  I love me some gays.  I am actually in the market for a good gay friend, as my shopping skills are awful…  I have really fallen into dressing like a mom.  Email me, Larry. 

Yesterday, Larry Craig, the US Senator from Idaho officially withdrew from Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign after entering a guilty plea for an arrest over lewd conduct in a men’s bathroom.  Craig was arrested  in the St. Paul International airport bathroom when a plainclothes police officer was investigating reports of inappropriate behavior.  

What does all this mean? Well…in case anybody was wondering…Craig is a Republican and the party can’t take  much more. This would be the second homosexual scandal in the party in less than a year and also falls on the same day that Gonzales resigned. I’m sure that Craig’s Senate seat will be left open for a while. Can the Republican party take anymore? 

Caroline

Just as I suspected all Democratic politicians are having a field day with the Gonzales resignation. Here are some reactions both on the Republican side and on the Democratic side. According to the Democrats…”It’s long overdue” and the Republican’s are not quick to say acrimonious things about Gonzales because who wants to kick their party when it’s down?

Hillary Clinton said: 

“The Department’s hard-working lawyers, law enforcement officers and staff are trusted to defend our Constitution, not one Administration or political party. That trust is central to the sanctity of the rule of law and the vitality of our democracy. Because he betrayed his obligations and the trust of the American people, I welcome today’s announcement that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has resigned his post as Attorney General of the United States.My hope is that the president will select a new Attorney General who will respect the rule of law and abandon partisanship, who will serve the American people and not the president’s political ideology, and who will answer to the constitution and not political operatives.

It is past time to clean up this mess and restore non-partisan accountability and competence to the Department of Justice.The second anniversary of Hurricane Katrina is one more reminder that the President must appoint someone to lead the Department of Justice with the leadership and competence necessary to defend the Constitution.”

Barack Obama said :  

“I long believed that Alberto Gonzales subverted justice to promote a political agenda” and was “pleased that he has finally resigned today”:“The president needs to nominate an Attorney General who will be the people’s lawyer, not the president’s lawyer, and in an Obama Administration that person will first and foremost defend and promote the rights and liberties enshrined in our Constitution.”

Not surprisingly Giuliani said: 

Judge Gonzales served his nation honorably and I wish him well in the next phase of his career.”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said:

 “I thank Alberto Gonzales for his public service and wish him well in his future endeavors. It is my hope that whomever President Bush selects as the next Attorney General, he or she is not subjected to the same poisonous partisanship that we’ve sadly grown accustomed to over the past eight months.”

 It’s a shame that the Daily Show and the Colbert Report are taking a 2 week break, because they would also have a field day with today’s events. 

Caroline